Saturday, June 29, 2019

   





   

Friday, June 21, 2019

Seeking For Love

                   
I wanted to be loved so bad when I was a teenager but I couldn't find  love. I always stayed depressed in my little room and wondering why the root of a plant you trusted will not be able to grow the good seed that can give you joy. There is always a certain period in a teenagers' life that they wanted to be loved. My heart is always occupied with sadness, and I kept asking myself what have I done wrong. I am a devoted worshipper but I knew I was missing something. After high school, I decided to have a man in my life, with the belief of getting what I was missing. He was more mature and I was looking forward to learning from him. My parents were not in support of the relationship but I was desperate for love. I was excited to move in with my man despite my parents not supporting the idea. I could still remember him teaching me how to cook and telling me how to do things. I guessed he got tired of babysitting a wife at some point. It was only three months of our togetherness and the table turned around. The love field then turned to a battle one. A wife started getting treated like a girl. It wasn't a good experience. There was a day he went to work and I thought of him returning back home then I was worried and restless. I was so scared that my so-called husband will be home in a few minutes, then I started cleaning the house, dusting everywhere. I was just confused because I didn't know what he would complain about. He came in from work, I greeted him and offered him food. Unfortunately for me, he said I didn't do a good job putting his clothes away, then the situation went bad. I could not return to my parents and I couldn't narrate my terrible experience to them. I kept mute and enduring. The abuse was getting too much and unbearable but I decided to stay  because I thought opting out at that point in time will only worsen my situation. Life seemed like hell to me. A wife turned to a slave, the heart that supposed to be occupied with love was full of fear. I later got out but it was too late. It was also unfortunate that I was still desperately seeking for love even after I left him and I kept getting into wrong relationships. Life can throw  you around sometimes, but is always good to explore and study the part  life throws at you because it will be useful for the rest of the journey.

That is a true life story of a lady seeking for love. This is my take on this situation; Parents are supposed to show their children how to be loved because if they don't, the children will get it somewhere else which may be disastrous.  Generally, it is a good idea to calmly seek for love because if you feel like shopping 

desperately, you will surely buy what you do not need which can build up to be a monster in your life. Individual desperately seeking for love never think straight, their judgment has already been altered because they think people don't love them so they take an act like kindness for love. This is the trick, your brain and mind make you miss what you do not have. It is simple mathematics if you keep telling your brain that you are lacking something then your brain will process it and interpret it that you are really missing that thing. So, try to play with your brain and mind. Don't get me wrong, you can seek for love but never get desperate because if you do, you will rush out just the same way you rushed into the relationship. Take care of yourself and invest in yourself for the right person. If you want true love, do not seek desperately. Take your time building yourself to be able to accommodate the upcoming lover. Let me rest my pen here😜. Always be Realwithkem.


Saturday, June 1, 2019

Guilt Of Love

         
   He said to me ’I will use the last drop of my blood to put a smile on you, if that is what it takes to give you happiness.’ He touches me with care and moves his hands on me with passion. He stares at me like a woman holding her newborn baby. I got the feeling of a goddess when he makes love to me. I say to myself ’what is this? I don't know! Can I admit I'm lucky to be shown love this way or nervous.’ For real! My husband is a good looking gentleman. His words are fascinating and engaging. You will always want to hear more of him. 
I was happy with my marriage and I was in love with this man. 
It was a sunny morning, I was putting on my nightwear my man bought me. I called him to make me a cup of tea as he usually did but there was no response. I looked around the apartment he was not there. He never did that. The last time we had an argument was four years ago, so I was pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong. "Where is my love"? I asked myself. I felt part of me was already missing. I could not sit or stand. I was getting a mixed feelings and I could hear my heartbeat beating really fast. Okay! I calmed myself down. I walked with fear towards the window to look out for his car, maybe he was out to get me a cup of coffee. I waited and waited but he didn't show up. Then, I sensed sadness and tribulation. I said to myself ‘I can't take this. I don't know what happened to my joy.’ Then my phone rang, the caller said ’ is this Ms cook?’ 
I said ’yesssss’ then I couldn't feel my legs, I was reluctant to respond to her next question.
She said ’Your husband is in our facility, he had a nervous breakdown. We need you to come....’ That was the last thing I could remember. I was admitted to a nearby hospital. I requested to see my husband when I finally gained consciousness. I was taken to him, I walked towards him with guilt and fear. I sat down beside him and I held his hands. He was fine for that moment and he looked straight into my eyes and smiled. That was the last chapter of my husband’s life. He gave up on me and I gave up on myself. I pushed him too hard. I never thought of giving him happiness, now I could feel the guilt eating me up. It is sad😭 

This is to all lovers out there! Never think is all about you, it is also about your partner. Stop asking without giving. Stop being selfish, love is not what you get but what you give. If you don’t love him, let him go. Don't task him to pay for your lost. Don't ride him to your destination but give him reasons why he should take you to your destination. Love him but Don't lame him. The game of love should be a tied score not one sided. For Real! Always get Realwithkem.

Wrong Turn

      Each step forward gives me hope, assurance, and something to live for. Unfortunately, it is difficult to keep taking the steps. I ca...