Saturday, June 1, 2019

Guilt Of Love

         
   He said to me ’I will use the last drop of my blood to put a smile on you, if that is what it takes to give you happiness.’ He touches me with care and moves his hands on me with passion. He stares at me like a woman holding her newborn baby. I got the feeling of a goddess when he makes love to me. I say to myself ’what is this? I don't know! Can I admit I'm lucky to be shown love this way or nervous.’ For real! My husband is a good looking gentleman. His words are fascinating and engaging. You will always want to hear more of him. 
I was happy with my marriage and I was in love with this man. 
It was a sunny morning, I was putting on my nightwear my man bought me. I called him to make me a cup of tea as he usually did but there was no response. I looked around the apartment he was not there. He never did that. The last time we had an argument was four years ago, so I was pretty sure I didn't do anything wrong. "Where is my love"? I asked myself. I felt part of me was already missing. I could not sit or stand. I was getting a mixed feelings and I could hear my heartbeat beating really fast. Okay! I calmed myself down. I walked with fear towards the window to look out for his car, maybe he was out to get me a cup of coffee. I waited and waited but he didn't show up. Then, I sensed sadness and tribulation. I said to myself ‘I can't take this. I don't know what happened to my joy.’ Then my phone rang, the caller said ’ is this Ms cook?’ 
I said ’yesssss’ then I couldn't feel my legs, I was reluctant to respond to her next question.
She said ’Your husband is in our facility, he had a nervous breakdown. We need you to come....’ That was the last thing I could remember. I was admitted to a nearby hospital. I requested to see my husband when I finally gained consciousness. I was taken to him, I walked towards him with guilt and fear. I sat down beside him and I held his hands. He was fine for that moment and he looked straight into my eyes and smiled. That was the last chapter of my husband’s life. He gave up on me and I gave up on myself. I pushed him too hard. I never thought of giving him happiness, now I could feel the guilt eating me up. It is sad😭 

This is to all lovers out there! Never think is all about you, it is also about your partner. Stop asking without giving. Stop being selfish, love is not what you get but what you give. If you don’t love him, let him go. Don't task him to pay for your lost. Don't ride him to your destination but give him reasons why he should take you to your destination. Love him but Don't lame him. The game of love should be a tied score not one sided. For Real! Always get Realwithkem.

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